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英文笑話 (4) – 癌症病患
撰文者: Wayne 發表日期: October 14, 2010 – 5:33 am

版主今天介紹一則關於癌症病患的笑話,多看笑話可以自然而然學習英文的敘事邏輯,進而奠定堅實的英文基礎。

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Good and the Bad

An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve got some bad news for you…you have the cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.”  

Murphy, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room.

There he saw his son who had been waiting.

Murphy said, “Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t so well. I have cancer and I’ve been given a short time to live. Let’s head for the pub and have a few pints.”

After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy’s old friends who asked what the two were celebrating.

Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad…He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end.

He told his friends “I’ve only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS.” The friends gave Murphy their condolences and they had a couple more beers.

After his friends left, Murphy’s son leaned over and whispered his confusion, “Dad I thought you said that you were dying from cancer?

You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS?”

Murphy said, “I am dying from cancer son, I just don’t want any of them sleeping with your mother.”  

(source) http://www.funcracker.com 

translation

(中文翻譯)

《順境與逆境》

有一位愛爾蘭人,名叫 Murphy,他拖了很久才去看病。醫生檢查許久,嘆了一口氣,看著 Murphy 說:「我有個壞消息要告訴你。你得了癌症,可惜已經無法治癒,你大概只能活兩個禮拜到一個月。」  

Murphy 聽到這項惡耗,既震驚又難過,但他十分堅強,依舊鎮定了下來,從診察室走回候診室。

他看到兒子正在那裡等他。

Murphy 說道:「兒子,我們愛爾蘭人無論遇到順境或者逆境都會慶祝。現在情況不妙,我得了癌症,已經沒多久可活了,不如我們現在就去酒吧喝幾杯吧!」

父子倆喝了三、四品脫的啤酒後都有點醉茫茫,兩人彼此歡笑,又多喝了幾杯酒。最後,幾個 Murphy 的老友看到他們,前去詢問他們在慶祝什麼。

Murphy 先說愛爾蘭人無論順境或逆境都要慶祝,接著說他自己沒有幾天可活了,他們父子是在喝酒慶祝。

他告訴老友:「醫生診斷出我罹患愛滋病,我只剩幾個禮拜可以活。」那些朋友替 Murphy 感到不捨,接著大夥一起喝了幾杯。

等到那些朋友離開之後,Murphy 的兒子趨前,一臉狐疑地問道:「爸,你不是說你患了癌症,沒幾天可活了嗎?」

「但是,你為何剛才告訴他們自己即將死於愛滋病?」

Murphy 回答:「兒子啊,沒錯,我是患了癌症。我只是不想讓那些傢伙跟你媽來一腿。」

 

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