header-pic
中進英翻譯賞析:張大春《將軍碑》(4)
撰文者: Wayne 發表日期: May 11, 2011 – 12:40 pm

張大春的《將軍碑》曾經榮獲第九屆「時報文學獎」小說類首獎。他錯亂時空順序,不但顛覆歷史的線性邏輯概念,更正面挑戰解嚴體制下的「名人回憶錄」 形式。《將軍碑》以八十三歲的退伍將軍武鎮東為主角,通篇故事就在武將軍的神遊 (不停帶著女記者或兒子進出歷史隧道) 與現實情境的交錯中一路發展下去。

何謂真正的歷史?在張大春眼中,每個人都刻意篩選記憶來建構腦海中的歷史,沒有人的記憶等同於真正的歷 史。原本應當傳遞歷史的語言不僅無法用來溝通,反倒是一面圍牆,人人都囚禁在自己構築的語言監獄。在《將軍碑》中,粗氣的老將軍想把自己的價值觀念硬生生 加在有搽古龍水習慣的兒子身上,但他兒子 (維揚) 總愛淡淡的應一句:「那是您的歷史,爸! / 而且都過去了。」 對每個人而言,歷史不過是記憶交融之後的產物,無所謂對錯,沒有什麼人、什麼事是純粹的。

《將軍碑》曾經收錄於齊邦媛編著的《中英對照讀台灣小說》,英文譯者之ㄧ正是版主的美國教授 John Balcom。 版主曾經向老師請教這篇譯文的翻譯心得,著實獲益良多。這篇出色的小說以時間錯謬為主軸,夢境與今昔的交替甚為頻繁,翻譯時需要精確掌握時態,方能在西方 讀者的腦海中營造相同情境。此外,張大春的文字功力高深,用字簡鍊精準,文白交融合宜,翻譯這篇小說對譯者真是一大考驗。

這是版主解析的第四部份,其餘部分請參考:

中進英翻譯賞析:張大春《將軍碑》(1)

中進英翻譯賞析:張大春《將軍碑》(2)

中進英翻譯賞析:張大春《將軍碑》(3)

database_new

《將軍碑》
張大春

將軍之所以要帶著老管家重返古戰場,無疑也是由於葬禮上受到刺激的緣故。他堅持讓老管家作了見證:證明維揚沒有資格續他的回憶錄:在他最輝煌的那些歲月裡─「維揚這臭小子還不知道在哪裡當孤魂野鬼,沒處投胎呢!」多年以來,每當父子倆發生摩擦衝突的時候,將軍都會意氣風發地這麼說:可是話一出口,就會有另一種更大、更強硬的恐懼浮現──將軍真的懷疑這個在戰後出生的老來子,曾經是某個無名火線上冤死的孤魂野鬼,或者是所有冤孽的總合和菁華。在這種恐懼的催迫之下,他不得不向老管家重新翻修他對歷史的解釋,編織一些新的記憶,塗改一些老的記憶,以抗拒冥冥中可能已經加諸在他身上的報應。

The reason the General had taken his old valet to revisit the old battlefield was, no doubt, because he had been upset at the funeral. He insisted that his old valet should be a witness to the fact that Wei-yang was not the right person to finish his memoirs. During those years,  when he was at the height of his glory – “Wei-yang, that brat, was still a lonely spirit or wandering ghost who had not yet found a place to be born!” Over the years, every time father and son clashed, the General would say this with great pomp. But as soon as the General said it, then a even greater and stronger fear would rise up inside him – the General truly suspected that his son, born in his old age after the war, was probably the reincarnation of the lonely spirit or wandering ghost of an innocent soldier killed at the front lines or the amalgamation and essence of all evil. Out of this oppressive fear, he had to revise or change history for his old valet; he weaved a few new memories and erased some old ones in order to defy the retribution the Great Unkown had probably already placed upon him.

translation

1. The reason … was because … = 說明理由的句型
=> no doubt = 無疑 (插入詞)

** That’s the reason why.
** That’s the reason why you fall in love when you are young.
有人認為這種寫法很累贅,但版主認為既然有人用,就應該知道並熟記。

2. ..he had been upset at the funeral = 這裡用過去完成式是指受到刺激 (upset) 是發生在更早的時間。
前面的 the General had taken his old valet … => 也是指更早發生的事情。

3.  be a witness to the fact that…

=> be a witness to = 作為某某事情的見證人
=> the fact that = 這是用來「接續子句,另起爐灶,柳暗花明又一村」的一種手段,表示後面說的是一種事實 (a fact)。不過,有些美國人認為這是一種很笨拙的句型,版主認為少用為妙。

4. at the height of one’s glory = 在某人最光榮的時刻

5. a lonely spirit of wandering ghost  = 孤魂野鬼

* 在聖經中,spirit 就是指「靈」,為可數名詞。
=> 聖靈 holy spirit / 邪靈 evil spirit

6. yet 的用法很奇特,這裡是指「將會發生的事情,但是目前還未發生」。

=> “Are you ready?” (你好了嗎?) / “Not yet.” (還沒)

** 通常 yet 會用來表示 「然而 / 但是 (but at the same time / nevertheless)」

=>第一縷陽光是在山牆上的,這是很美的圖畫,幾乎是絢爛的,又有些荒涼;是新鮮的,又是有年頭的。
The first rays of light shining on the gable walls create a stunning picture, a gorgeous portrait, bearing just a hint of desolation, fresh and new yet not without a past.

7. every time ….., the General would say….

這是用來說明過去的習慣與經常發生的事件,版主很早很早以前便講解過這種用法,請參照『英文「過去簡單式」的使用時機 (3)』。

8. father and son = 父子

=> 英文提到這種關係時,名詞前後都不會加冠詞或不定冠詞,相關的說法還有:

* master and servant = 主僕

* husband and wife = 夫妻

9. in one’s old age = 老年時

10. reincarnation = 轉世;使靈魂投胎
=> Some people believe that they may be reincarnated in the form of an animal.
(有人相信他們死後可能投胎變成動物。)

* 基督教是不信轉世投胎的,但是相信審判,故有天堂與地獄之分。
=> Judgement Day / The Day of Judgement / The Last Judgement (The day at the end of the world when God will judge everyone who has ever lived) 最後審判日

He’s shopping like there’s no tomorrow. (他死命地購物。) =>這就是根據世界末日的概念而來的說法

11.  amalgamate = combine or unite 合併 / 聯合

=> The boys’ and girls’ schools have (been) amalgamated to form a new comprehensive. (男女校合併,組成一所新的綜合中學。)

12.  恐懼的催逼下 = Out of this oppressive fear …

「催逼」在原文中是動詞或動名詞,但是英文卻轉換成形容詞 (oppressive),這種翻譯法值得參考與借鏡。

Out of… => 出自於;由於

13. weaved a few new memories and erased some old ones => 編織一些新的記憶,塗改一些老的記憶
翻譯有點不精準,建議改成
weaved a few new memories as well as erasing and modifying some old ones
但如此一來結構就變得比較複雜,不知道譯者是不是因為這樣而省略 (modify)?

14. defy the retribution the Great Unknown had probably placed upon him…
** retribution = deserved punishment 應受的懲罰 / compensation for injury 應給於的賠償
=> jailed in retribution for his crimes 因犯罪而坐牢
=> make retribution to God for one’s sins 向上帝贖罪

** the Great Unknown = 冥冥之中的超自然力量 (這種寫法可以記起來)

** place the retribution upon somebody =>這是構成本句的原本用法
database_new

於是,當主僕二人來到民國二十一年一月二十日的上海,看著五十名「日本青年保衛社」社員燒燬一家毛巾工廠、燒死兩名中國工人的時候,將軍便忙不迭地告訴老管家:「其實我那時候兒根本不在上海。打保衛戰以後我才來的。」可是他無法說明:既然眼前這場夜火處於一個他從未經歷的時空,他又怎麼能帶老管家「回來」?「將軍!您以前說過:鬼子燒工廠是為了向您報復啊!您不是先活活打死一個日本臭和尚嗎?」將軍立刻搖頭否認,以免把那臭和尚和獨身的維揚牽扯在一起。他義正辭嚴地斥道:「胡說!」然而在另一方面,將軍已經看見那個年輕、英挺的自己衝進火窟,救出了第三個中國人,卻沒料到:對方竟然是虹口地面上的中盤鴉片商。火災事件之後,將軍的襖惱並沒有持續太久,因為他所救的人在爾後的一段日子裡資助了他的非正規軍一大筆糧餉,到頭來還成為他的岳父。

Thus, when master and servant reached Shanghai on January 20, 1932, and watched fifty members of the Japanese Youth Defense Association burn down a linen factory and burn two Chinese factory workers to death, the General explained immediately to his valet, “Actually I wan’t in Shanghai at that time. I arrived after the war of defense began.” But he could not clarify how he could “return” to the scene of the fire that night if he had not been there. “General, didn’t you say that the Japanese burned down the factory becasue they wanted to take revenge on you? Didn’t you first have a stinking Japanese monk beaten to death?” The General at once shook his head so as not to link that stinking monk with bachelor Wei-yang. He reprimanded him sternly and forcefully, “Nonsense!” But, on the other hand, the General had already seen himself, a handsome young man, rush into the flames to rescue a third Chinese who, unexpectedly, turned out to be a middleman in the Hungk’ou opium business. The General’s remose did not last long after the incident of the fire, because the person he rescued later aided him with provisions and funds for his irregular troops, and eventually became his father-in-law.

translation

1. master and servant = 主僕

=> 前段已經提過這種說法,這類詞組的名詞前後都不會加冠詞或不定冠詞,類似說法包括:

* father and son = 父子

* husband and wife = 夫妻

2. burn someone to death = 活活燒死某人

=> burn /starve/ stab someone to death = 把某人活活燒死/餓死/刺死
=> You’re drinking yourself to death. (妳這樣喝,非死不可!)

3.  … how he could ‘return’ to the scene of the fire that night if he had not been there.

非過去事實的假設,詳細說明請參閱『假設語氣概論』。有一點要補充說明,譯者在此刻意跳脫字句,純粹以英文邏輯來翻譯,值得模仿與學習。

4. take / have / get one’s revenge (on sb for sth) = 報仇
這是很常見的用法,一定要記起來。

5. 您不是先活活打死一個日本臭和尚嗎?
Didn’t you first have a stinking Japanese monk beaten to death?

譯者對原文的理解是:將軍叫別人 (手下) 把日本和尚打死。這種用法的詳細說明請參考『英文 “have” 與 “got” 的促使語態』。

如果是將軍親手把和尚打死,英文要寫成:
Didn’t you first beat a stinking Japanese monk to death?

6. so as (not) to = 用來承接因果關係的說法

7. reprimand sb sternly and forcefully = 義正辭嚴喝斥

8. a third Chinese = 第三個中國人

前面已經提及過兩個中國人被燒死,說明第三個中國人就是要使用這種說法。

9. turn out to be … = 證明為 (prove to be)
=> How did the party turn out? It turned out well, thanks!

1o. remose = sense of deep and bitter regret for having done sth wrong 懊悔

11. the incident of the fire = 有心要讓英文更上一層樓的網友要多熟記這類名詞搭配的說法。

12. 資助 => 中文在此有點模糊,倒底是資助金錢還是糧餉呢?原文說得不太清楚,因此譯者把兩者都納入,以求保險無誤。版主在此也學習到這種翻譯方式,不錯!
** provisions = (supply of) food and drink 食物和飲料
** funds =   financial resources; money 資金;現款

13. 非正規軍 = irregular troops

以下是 Wikipedia 的解說:

Irregular military refers to any non-standard military. Being defined by exclusion, there is significant variance in what comes under the term. It can refer to the type of military organization, or to the type of tactics used.

An irregular military organization is a military organization which is not part of the regular army organization of a party to a military conflict. Without standard military unit organization, various more general names are used; such organizations may also be called a “troop,” “group,” “unit,” “column,” “band,” or “force.”

database_new

將軍接著悄聲向老管家表示:他從來就沒喜歡過他岳父那個王八蛋。「可是,那時節──」將軍沉吟著、嘆息著,沒有繼續說下去。他希望對方能體諒:在內戰外患頻仍的年月裡,沒有什麼人、什麼事是純粹的。榮耀與罪惡、功勛與殺孽、權勢與愛情、恩與仇、生與死……全是可以攪和成一體的稀泥。「這我懂,將軍。」老管家說。將軍咬緊牙關,以免臉上流露出感激的表情;他使勁兒昂起下巴,堅定地凝視廠房那邊冒竄到半空之中的熊熊烈燄。心底卻有一股如火燒巨木般摧枯拉朽的聲音在喊著:「維揚啊!你這個小孽障就從來沒懂過!你懂得個屁!」

Lowing his voice, the General told his old valet that he never liked his father-in-law, that bastard. With a sigh the General murmured, “But at that time -, ” he didn’t continue. He hoped that his old valet would understand that during the times of domestic turmoil and foreign aggression nothing nor anyone was that simple. Glory and guilt, exploiation and executions, power and love, kindness and hatred, life and death could all be blended into watery mud. “I understand that, General,” said the old valet. The General gritted his teeth so as not to show any expression of gratitude. He held up his chin with even greater force, staring fixedly at the flames that shot up into the sky from the factory. At the same time, deep down in his heart, he heard a sound like the crashing of a dry, rotten tree consumed in flame, shouting “Oh, Wei-yang! You little evil bastard, you understand nothing. You don’t know nothing!”

translation

1. Lowing his voice, the General… = 此分詞構句讓句型更為簡鍊
=> Lower one’s voice to a whisper (把聲音降低成耳語)

2. 將軍沉吟著、嘆息著,沒有繼續說下去
With a sigh the General murmured, “…,” he didn’t continue.

譯者在此轉換中文其中一組動詞 (嘆息著) 的詞性,以副詞來表示。我們可以從美國譯者的翻譯中學習到這種詞性轉換的技巧與時機。

3.內戰外患 = domestic turmoil and foreign aggression

如果遇到相似的說法,如「內亂外患」或「內憂外患」, 網友也要大膽使用上面的英文翻譯。

4. 功勛與殺孽
exploitation = use sb/sth selfishly and unfairly for one’s own advantage or profit 剝削
execution = killing sb as a legal punishment 處死刑

功勛 => merits

譯者並未將中文全文翻譯出來。

5. … could all be blended into watery mud = 攪和成一體的稀泥

上面是很好的翻譯

6. grit one’s teeth = keep one’s jaws together 咬緊牙關

7. so as not to … = 承接因果關係

8. hold up one’s chin = 昂起下巴

9. He held up his chin with even greater force, staring fixedly at the flames that shot up into the sky from the factory.
fixed = (of an expression on sb’s face) not changing 不變的 / 堅定的

website_logo_2

© 英語學習網站《天地無用》- 狂飆英語的樂園





學習類別:  

Comments are closed.